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Just another ordinary day...

Just another ordinary day...
A blog about my life as a SAHM to 4 children ages 11, 9, 4, and 18 months. Our baby was diagnosed with Down syndrome at birth. He has already taught us many life lessons. The daily ups and downs of daily life with four children will be shared here...
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August 16, 2008
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March 04, 2010
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Momx4 - > Just another ordinary day... -> What I'd Like to Say...
What I'd Like to Say...

"How old is he? Can he walk yet?"  People ask me this all the time. "He's 13 months old -- no he isn't walking yet..."  Then I smile and find a way to exit...

 
What I'd like to say is... "Well, no, he isn't walking yet, but you should see what he CAN do. He can crawl wherever he wants to go; he can climb up on furniture bracing himself on his knees; he can roll a ball; he can chase after the cat; he can pull the dog's tail; he can reach as high as his little arms will go; he can smile so big that his rosy cheeks look like little apples; he can pull your hair before you can get away; he can give juicy, wet, open-mouthed kisses; he can throw himself back at the right place when we play bouncing, rhyming games on my lap; he can recognize many words and looks in the direction of all his family members, the cat, the dog, the light, the trees, his juice or milk, his Binky; he can make just about anyone smile with his deep blue, marbled eyes and charming wide open grin; he can bang out some great notes on the piano and help his music therapist play the guitar; and he can melt hearts. These are just a few of things he can do.  He'll stand and walk when he's ready.  Have a nice day."
That's what I'd like to say.

Topics: children, down syndrome, walking, delays
posted by Momx4 on Thursday, January 1, 2009 at 11:07 PM
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6 comments from 5 users

1

posted by creatress on Jan 2, 2009 at 09:03 AM

So why don't you? As a mom to a special needs child (like you) I say things like that all the time! People need a little wake up call now and then to realize that we're not all the same. We don't all have 2.5 children and live in small towns with white picket fences and have coffee with our neighbor every morning and fight over washing machines. We're all different and our children are different. Some may never walk! And that's ok. Ugh... I hate those situations and can so relate!

I STILL get asked when my son will stop stuttering and when his stuttering will "go away!" (He's almost 15 now with Aspergers Syndrome and a pretty severe stutter.) The answer is never and I tell it like it is. At least they only ask once.

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posted by Momx4 on Jan 2, 2009 at 12:47 PM
You're right.  Sometimes I do say a bit more, like, "No, he's not walking yet.  Kids with Down syndrome tend to take a little longer to walk."  Sometimes I'll engage in a conversation.  MOST people are very nice and complimentary -- John Michael has a charming personality.   I'm usually not abrupt in my answer, but I don't always have the time or patience to give a full and complete answer.  I guess I'll work on my response...
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posted by AmandaS on Jan 4, 2009 at 08:37 AM
Nothing is better than a big grin from a little guy! What a gift!

I find it amazing how complete strangers will interject themselves into a situation that has nothing to do with them. Even if they are well-meaning it can still be exhausting.
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posted by ThatTripletMom on Jan 7, 2009 at 08:47 AM
As a mother of triplets I used to get rude , way-too-personal, and sometimes inflammatory questions by strangers all the time.  I used to wish that the paper would continuously run a column on how to behave politely in public.

I often wondered why, when people feel compelled to say something, they couldn't just say something like, "what a beautiful family" and leave it at that.

I learned that instead of answering, it was better to ask back, "why do you ask?"  It makes people who are just being nosey, stop and really consider what they just said.  And if they are asking because they are facing a similar situation, it leaves an opening for them to say so (sometimes it was a woman going through fertility, or who recently found out she was prego with multiples and wanted to honestly gather information).

BTW, my son didn't walk until he was about 17.5 months old. The main thing I have learned by having three kids with the same birthday is that every child reaches milestones in their own time.
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posted by kellimwheeler on Jan 12, 2009 at 11:10 AM
What a poignant blog, and point well taken. From now on, I'll make sure to phrase my friendly banter differently and instead say, "What joys has your child brought you so far?"
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posted by Momx4 on Jan 13, 2009 at 05:51 PM
Thanks for your comments.  Friendly banter is appreciated and I don't mind engaging honestly curious and friendly people.  Most people I meet are that way.  My post probably came across angry, but rather it's just to put words to feelings that creep up now and again.  I know he'll walk, but occasionally I get a little down because I've been at this stage 3 other times and they've all been walking by now.  And then I move on...
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