SacMomsClub.com

Melody,

It was so nice to hear that I myself am not alone as far as feeling the frustration that you expressed.  My daughter,now 4 and in preschool, displayed that new level of testing mommy prior to her really 100% being potty trained as well.  It was the straw that broke mommy's back sometimes as I took deep breaths to calm myself down.  I even at one point handed over to her the Lysol wipes and toilet paper and told her to put her poop in the commode. She of course did not like that a bit but eventually she got it.  I felt bad and guilty as sometimes I would raise my voice a bit when she went wee wee in her pants. I read all kinds of resources as to how to get her to choose to use the bathroom correctly but I finally came to the conclusion that the word "CHOOSE" came to mind as strong as an expresso coffee.  So I finally let go and tried to bite my tongue whenever she chose to not use the restroom properly and finally from a few days after that she got it right.  I think sometimes the kids feel our tension and stress or somehow the energy of our mental stress somehow transfers to our kids.  I even at one point kept reading over and over to her the book, "It's Potty Time" that even had a toilet flush sound to press.  GRRRRR! I remember her not using the restroom right somedays just got me or I guess you can say I chose to let it get to me as if it was the end of the world. Again, I had to realize that she will eventually get it right and I tried to tell myself over and over again, "There is a time for everything."  So when her time is right, her time will be right. But in the mean time realize that you are doing the best you can and you are not alone with this issue.  I enjoyed reading about your experience because I too have felt just like you put it.  You have such a wonderful blessing knowing how understanding your husband is. I whish he would tell me like your husband that I didn't have to particapte in the in law crowd sometimes because you just need a break.  But on the most part  I also have an understanding husband but once in a while he forgets what it is like to 24/7 be engaged with two girls, one four and the other 18 months and not be paid a cent to just indulge in guilty pleasures such as an iced mocha at Starbucks.  Times are hard economically these days with gas prices up and grocery prices rising.  I have to keep reminding myself though that my pay is the opportunity to be able to actually stay home with my girls because I am sure many other moms would love to have the opportunity for themselves.  But on ocassion a mom can get ansy as to craving an adult conversation whether it be even in the grocery store line.  I have just recently supplemented my social life by emailing old friends and distant relatives and that has helped tremendously.  So I just wanted to email you back to let you know that I appreciated hearing your true and honest thoughts as to what it is like sometimes to be a stay home mom.  It is by far the hardest job in the entire WOLRD.  I am also a middle school teacher and have taken two years off thus far and let me tell you although teaching has its mental stress but atleast you know when you come home that you can sleep on it whatever day the previous day entailed yet being a stay home mom sometimes we don't get a chance to sleep on it whatever the stressful day entailed.  I hope the time for your daughter to get it right will be soon and when that  day comes go do something for yourself that you really like to do.One more tip I forgot to mention. Although I do not offer my 4 year old a lot of sugary foods I did end up telling her that everytime she used the toilet correctly that I would reward her with say a fig newton or something that she really liked . If you haven't tried this yet maybe it is worth a try.

One more last thing.  Have you thought about that maybe your lower back pain could be where you carry your stress.  Maybe ask yourself what else is going on in your life that may need attention or maybe if you carry or pick up your daughter that could cause aches and pain in the back.  Sometimes even vacuuming or how you moved a certain way could trigger body aches/pain.  It is so funny because my husband is only 40 and into lifting weights and excercising but the other day he told me, "Honey, I almost killed myself getting out of my car seat." I then told him back, "You are too much sometimes."  Well we both laughed and told eachother that the older we get the more careful we have to be with our bodies so much as getting out of the car carefully to make sure you don't pull/strain a muscle. Now as we get older, as I myself am 36, we both are getting to understand why the elder are so cautious and why they have a tendency to complain of body aches. 

In the end I think the best medicine is to LAUGH whatever the situation may be because this stage in your daughters life will soon pass on quicker than you can blink.  

Take care!