HomeTwenty-four-seven
Gender: female Member Since: September 13, 2007 Last Signed In: November 13, 2008 Blog Views: 839 Send To A Friend Sign Guestbook Add as a Friend
You Can't Take It with You, So Why Not Give It Away...
Two Years Greater Fair-weather Friends Life Cycles Life's a Beach... Outbreak Out with the old, in with the new... Same Sh*!, Different Day... Life on the farm... Life or Death September 07 October 07 November 07 December 07 January 08 February 08 March 08 April 08 May 08 June 08 July 08 August 08 September 08 October 08 November 08 December 08 January 09 Here's where I'll rant and rave about motherhood; the ups and downs and ups again. There are always ups! 
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Life or Death
A year ago tomorrow, my brother David will have been dead for one year. I still can't believe this as I'm typing it, yet I'm typing it, so it must be real. Sometimes it feels as if he's still alive due to his previous sporadic nature of showing up every once in a while and making a guest appearance. That was his trademark for so many years, but for a year or so prior to his death, he was making more of an effort to come around and spend quality time with his siblings. He was forty years old, which made him one year older than his mother and four years older than his father when they died. Bad genes, one might say, who didn't have all the facts. I say bad genes coupled with bad habits...the same bad habits that took our mother away at the age of 39. I'm past the blame game. I don't care what took my brother away from us. The issue is, he's gone and nothing can bring him back. All we can do now is remember him the way he would have wanted us to. Irreverently. He was the kind of guy who would say, "Fu** 'em if they can't take a joke," and the more I live, the more I understand, really, what he was saying. It's the whole "life's too short" thing. Life's too short to get caught up on little bullshit things. It's all about learning to let go. Let go of the little things. This is the gift my brother gave me when he died. He taught me how to let go. But it seems as if he gave me another gift. Since my brother's death, one of my other brothers (I have three of them) has been coming around more and even comes over every Saturday night and plays poker at our house. This is what I've been wanting for a long time, to have an active relationship with my two older brothers (my youngest brother, I've always been close with), and I feel that my brother David wanted the same thing, too, before he died and knowing that is almost as comforting as if we actually did. His death reminds me of life. Of what remains here. My husband, our children, my brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews, friends and acquaintances. How can I not be happy, today and tomorrow? He wouldn't want his death to overshadow a potential smile. Laughter always follows tears.
3 comments from 3 users
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posted by
creatress
on Oct 18, 2007 at 04:50 PM
posted by
blahblahblah
on Oct 19, 2007 at 08:36 AM
beautiful post; thank you for sharing.in our family, we lost someone we all loved very much at far too young an age. she's been gone for 3 years, but she is still missed. like you, i try to focus on the laughter instead of the tears, and take advantage of the time that i am here. *hug* posted by
thomsoncrew
on Nov 11, 2007 at 12:01 AM
My heart goes out to you! I lost a close friend 2 years ago in December. Even though I grieve his absence everyday I find solace in the fact he did'nt take life to seriously. He was an amazing man with a huge heart and an offering hand. On a daily basis I am reminded of how lucky I was to know this incredible  man! There are still times I am overwhelmed with the reality of it all & for purely selfish reasons I want him back in front of me. Yet even in those times I am comforted to know he lived his life to the fullest everday and NEVER looked back! I am truly sorry for your loss and hope that life gets a little easier everyday! Much love :) Â
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Focus on the good, you're doing great.
{CYBER HUG}