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Ok moms: besides costumes, what’s the first thing you associate with Halloween?  Very likely, candy. 

You may already have children grazing on candy intended for Halloween, and by November 1 you’re likely to be overflowing with acquired trick-or-treat goodies.  It’s hard to keep sugar in check when your house is overflowing with all the candy; what’s a health-conscious mom to do?

Most fall into one of three schools of thought:

Ignore it and it will go away (the candy, that is) – and it will, especially with lots of people helping… possibly in a matter of hours, usually over a period of days.  If you aren’t worried about candy intake, or aren’t prone to excessive snacking yourself, this is fine.  To keep things from getting too out of hand, you can always limit the number of houses you visit during trick-or-treating to begin with, so there isn’t such an overflow of sweets to tempt everyone.

Moderation in all things (the make-it-last approach) – you simply limit candy to a small amount per day.  This is great if everyone has lots of will power, or if your children are young enough for you to be in charge of doling out all the treats.  You may still have candy left well into December, but you get to enjoy it over a long period of time and you won’t have children feeling ill from eating two dozen of their favorite miniature size chocolate bars all at once.

Eat now or forever hold your piece (the use-it-or-lose-it plan) – there are several variations on this, but the common theme is that candy goes away very shortly after Halloween.  Moms have many inventive ways of making this happen:

• Picking favorites – have your kids choose a dozen of their absolute favorite goodies, and toss the rest
• The Great Pumpkin – this concept is similar to the Tooth Fairy.  You leave your candy in a big pile outside the back door (or wherever) and in the morning it’s been replaced by a toy or a dollar or two.
• Cash for Candy – you can do this outright, and simply make a deal with your kids (offering $5 for the entire bag, perhaps), or go to a place that will actually give you cash for your treats.  Lyons Orthodontics in El Dorado Hills and Citrus Heights and select locations of A+ Personalized Dental Care  in Roseville and Lincoln, among others, will give you $1/lb for candy, then send the candy on to troops overseas.
• The looming deadine – simply tell the kids that on Monday all the candy will be tossed, sent to the office, or otherwise disposed of.  Then run and hide (perhaps taking a Milky Way bar with you).

Your assignment:  Decide what you want to do – if anything! – about the Halloween candy that will soon fill your home.  If you plan to limit candy, think about how to do this as easily as possible, and be sure your kids know what to expect so there aren’t any terrible surprises.

Ready to take the assignment?  Want to talk about this?  Share your ideas and thoughts at the M.O.M. Balance Forum.

Do you have a dream?  Not a kid-related dream (though of course you’d love for your toddler to be potty trained and for all your children to get along perfectly), but rather a dream just for you?

It’s sometimes tough in the midst of motherhood to see beyond the present moment at all.  Days and even weeks can pass in a flurry of diapers, naps and playdates, and a mom’s busy schedule doesn’t leave you much time and energy to focus on dreams, but that doesn’t lessen their importance.

Having something to look forward to makes you a happier person and helps remind you of who you are on the inside, apart from all your other roles – mother, wife, friend and so forth.

If time, money and children were no obstacles, what would you love to have or do in your life?  Here are some questions to get you thinking about some possible dreams:

·         Where have you always wanted to travel (or return to)?

·         What would you enjoy learning (a language, computer programming, how to fuse glass)?

·         What career aspirations do you have for when your kids are older?

·         What physical challenge might you want to undertake (climb a mountain, run a marathon, learn to ballroom dance)?

When you consider these questions, what stands out for you?  Can you pinpoint one desire that calls to you more than the others?

When you come up with a new potential undertaking, beware of the voice of practicality in your head, which can cut your enthusiasm off at the pass.  You might tell yourself that your dream costs too much, say, or is too difficult, or just doesn’t make sense.  And while there may be some valid obstacles to overcome, what's most likely to hold you back is simply an unjustified fear of change, of doing something different or reaching for an achievement that seems too far out of your grasp.  This is why action of some kind is so important; knowing that you’re taking even tiny steps in the direction of your dream is what brings it into the realm of the possible.

Think about what one thing you could do to begin moving toward your dream.  Suppose you’d love to run a marathon; you could talk to other moms that have done it, find out about how to train, or commit to waking up early one morning a week and jogging to begin getting in shape.  Or maybe you want to visit Paris.  You could read books to learn about the city, talk to a travel agent, or start setting aside a little cash; if you saved only $10 a week, in 3 or 4 years you’d have enough money to take your trip. 

The most important thing isn’t to know exactly how or when you’ll achieve your dream, but to have one at all.  To have something that you’re working toward in some tiny way, even very slowly, even far out on the horizon, can give you fulfillment and deep personal satisfaction.  In the midst of all the motherhood mayhem, it gives you something that’s all yours.

Your assignment:  Spend a little time thinking about your own dream, if you already have one, or ask yourself questions to figure out what it might be.  Once you have an idea, decide on one tiny step you can make in the direction of this dream.  You may be surprised to find that it isn’t so far out of reach.

Ready to take the assignment?  Want to talk about this?  Share your ideas and thoughts at the M.O.M. Balance Forum.

So, how’s your budget doing these days?  Fall can be an expensive time anyway, and the recession is making this year even harder than usual for a lot of families.

If you haven’t given much thought to the financial pitfalls awaiting you over the next couple of months, this is the perfect time to take stock.  When you contemplate spending you probably jump ahead to either Christmas or Hanukah, but even Halloween and Thanksgiving can take quite a toll on your pocketbook if you purchase costumes, candy and decorations, or buy food to make a feast for a large group.

A little planning ahead can make a big difference in the amount of debt you incur (or not) by January.  The first thing to do is decide as a family on a budget for each holiday, then look for ways to make your dollars stretch as far as possible.  Here are some simple ideas:

October

• Decide, very soon, what your children will be for Halloween.  Many thrift stores have a good assortment of costumes and/or props right now, and you can put together an outfit much more easily (and less expensively) than if you have to buy a costume for retail price the week of Halloween.
• Try to purchase your candy all at once, and do the same with decorations.  If you buy candy over a period of time you can end up spending more than you wanted to, and having more than you need.  Buy treats close to Halloween, so they don’t mysteriously vanish before the big night arrives.
• For some great inexpensive decorating ideas, see Creatress’ blog this week. 

November

• If you’re going to be hosting Thanksgiving, think about how much food you need to make and decide how much you want to spend on a ham or turkey.
• Choose your menu early, so you can take advantage of the sales many stores have on Thanksgiving staples.
• Get your kids involved in the decorating.  For dozens of inexpensive Thanksgiving crafts, check out Family Fun’s website.  If you have loved ones overseas, get holiday packages in the mail now – you can save a huge amount of money by avoiding last minute expedited shipping.

December

• Decide how much you want to spend on each child, and how to divide funds between large and small gifts, the fun and the practical.
• Think about your options for adults in your household.  Do you all want to exchange gifts, would you rather pare down and focus more on the children, or might you do a special activity together and forego all the adult presents?
• Look at alternatives to standard gifts.  Maybe your best friend really needs help cleaning out her closet, or your mom could use a hand sorting through old photos.  Time spent helping someone can often be the perfect gift.
• Remember the stockings.  It’s both unpleasant and costly to realize on Christmas Eve that you’ve completely forgotten about stocking stuffers.  Pick up inexpensive goodies whenever you come across them and you’ll be well prepared.
• Set aside money for the many seasonal expenses other than gifts, such as new outfits, travel costs, and even holiday cards.  Buying and mailing large quantities of cards can become very costly.  Are there people you could send an e-card to or call instead of sending a traditional card? 

This time of year can bring so much joy when you have young children, and you don’t want financial concerns to intrude on this.  By making a budget and planning ahead, you can focus more of your attention on your kids and on making wonderful memories together.    

Your assignment:  Look at your finances from now until the end of the year, and decide how much you want to spend on each of the upcoming holidays for food, gifts, activities, and all the other expenses.  If money is tight, decide which expenditures are most important to you and how you can save enough for the things that matter most to your family.

Ready to take the assignment?  Want to talk about this?  Share your ideas and thoughts at the M.O.M. Balance Forum.