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It’s hard to believe something as basic as sleep could be so confusing and even controversial for moms.  You worry about helping babies develop healthy sleeping habits and the ability to get themselves to sleep.  With older children, there’s the very real concern that they probably aren’t getting enough sleep.  And for many moms, the bedtime routine itself can be a source of stress.

Here are some common questions and concerns, with ideas and resources you may find helpful:

How much sleep does my child need?  Needs vary greatly from child to child, so behavior and signs of tiredness are your best indicator.  On average, a typical newborn will sleep about 16 hours a day.  This decreases to 13 hours for the average 2-year-old, and 10-11 hours per night for a child in grade school.  For more specifics, click here. 

What’s the best way to put my child to bed?  Should I let my child cry himself to sleep?   This is a loaded issue, and many parents on both sides of the debate feel very strongly about it.  Until a child is at least six months old, you should respond to him when he cries.  He’s too young for “sleep training” and needs the security of having you respond to him right away.  After this, if a child isn’t sleeping well, parents either implement some form of the “cry it out” system, or choose a more child-centered approach to bedtime.  To learn the methods espoused by the leading doctor on each side of the debate, read the article Dr. Ferber vs. Dr. Sears.  For pros and cons of a crib vs. co-sleeping (another hot controversy), click here. 

What can I do to make bedtime easier?  Consistency is key.  The more predictable the child’s routine, the easier it will be for all of you.  If you sometimes read one story to your child and put her to bed at 7pm, then other times agree to five stories and an 8:30 bedtime, you may be setting yourself up for trouble.  Quiet activities, low lighting and a “winding down” period will help set the right tone.

How can I help my child sleep better?  Some babies sleep better with white noise in the background, reminding them of sounds from the womb.  Toddlers will sleep better when they aren’t overly tired; a nap can actually help in this regard.  A child who gets too tired may get her second wind (adrenaline surge) and then have difficulty getting to sleep at all.  For older children, try to avoid electronics at bedtime.  Having a tv in the bedroom will typically cause children to get half an hour less sleep per night than if they have no electronic distractions; over a week’s time, this adds up to a significant amount of sleep.

How can I tell if my child is getting enough sleep?   If he wakes up on his own in the morning, generally stays awake during car rides, maintains a consistent mood throughout the day, then falls asleep easily at night, he’s probably in good shape.  If you have to get him up, and you notice that he gets more moody, over-emotional and irritable as the day progresses, he probably needs more sleep than he’s getting.

Does sleep really matter that much?  Yes. Getting enough sleep helps everything from a child’s attention span to her ability to maintain a healthy weight, not to mention the part sleep plays in disposition and social relationships.  One recent study found that 25% of high school kids reported falling asleep in class on occasion, and these were the kids who also felt too tired to exercise.  Another study of primary school teachers revealed that almost 10% of K-4^th grade children were falling asleep in school.  These numbers indicate a serious need for a better night’s sleep.

Your assignment:  Observe your children’s sleeping patterns, and their daily behavior relating to sleep.  Are they getting enough sleep?  If not, look for ways to make bedtimes earlier (and easier) and to help kids wind down at the end of the day.  Remember that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach, but finding ways to help your children sleep better – and enough – is very important.