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February, the month associated with love, is upon us.  This is the perfect time to look at those people who you most appreciate, and consider how to best share your sentiments.

Why is appreciation so important?  Several reasons, actually.

• It improves your mindset.  You can’t simultaneously focus on what’s right and what’s wrong; expressing appreciation (or even just recognizing it) causes you to feel more gratitude for all the good things in your life, making your world a nicer place to be.
• Every time you share words of appreciation, you’re giving feedback which encourages more of the behavior you’re noticing.  This is especially important for your kids, who are usually glad to know what makes Mom happy.
• You see what you look for.  When you’re intending to find things to appreciate, you notice the positive, helpful and pleasant people and things around you, which you might otherwise overlook.
• Appreciation given to others puts your recipients in a good mood.  Everyone likes to hear honest, heartfelt words of admiration, especially when unexpected and unsolicited.

So how do you begin expressing more appreciation?

• Start at home.  It’s easy to take family members for granted, but the people under your roof are probably the most important ones to give appreciation to.  By doing so, you begin to create a more positive environment for everyone.
• Expect a little discomfort… but don’t let it deter you.  If you’re not used to sharing your gratitude for and to the people around you, it will feel strange to do so at first.  As with anything new, however, “practice makes perfect!”
• Look for the small stuff.  You don’t need to wait for monumental things to surface; appreciate the grocery store cashier who always greets you with a smile, the neighbor who brings in your trash can, the young nephew who remembers good manners.  If you’re feeling brave, tell each person what you appreciate about them.  If not, tell your children; when they hear you express appreciation for others, it can give them a new perspective and help them put a more positive spin on things in their own lives.
• When it comes to your kids, appreciate the effort.  Children aren’t going to get everything right, and the younger they are the more this holds true.  When I mentioned this week’s topic to my son, he told me, “I like when people appreciate something that I’ve worked really hard at,” and I think this is true for most kids.  Whatever they may or may not actually accomplish is much less important than the fact that they’re trying.  Their effort needs to be the focus.

Last but certainly not least, remember to appreciate the wonderful lady in the mirror.  She does so much for so many people, and (whether or not she hears it a lot) she’s doing a great job.

Your assignment:  This week, actively look for people to appreciate, and find a way to share this appreciation either with them or with others.  Be sure to tell your family members what you especially appreciate about each of them, too; they’ll love to hear it.

Ready to take the assignment?  Want to talk about this?  Share your ideas and thoughts at the M.O.M. Balance Forum.

When I speak to groups of moms, the issue of productivity almost always comes up.  For most moms there aren’t enough hours in the day, and there are usually more things on the to-do list than you can possibly squeeze in to the 24 hours you have, especially when 23 of those hours seem to be spent on feeding, dressing, changing, cleaning up after, transporting and otherwise caring for your children.

Kids aside, there are still lots of other things needing to be taken care of; how DO you fit everything in?  Here are a few easy ideas for making your days a little more productive:

• Write it all down.  Having a general list of what you want to get done makes it easier to prioritize.  Once you decide which items are “have-to’s” and which are just “want-to’s,” you can focus on the first group and fit in anything else as time permits. 
• Don’t hold yourself to pre-child standards.  There may once have been a time when you could get everything done, but it’s completely unfair to expect that of yourself now.  If you have a whole page of tasks written down, it’s a sure thing that half of them aren’t going to actually get accomplished – at least not today.  Be realistic about how much you expect of yourself, and don’t be afraid to…
• Delegate!  Ok, so your husband might not buy the right brand of diapers if you send him to the store, but maybe it’s worth getting help anyway, especially if the alternative is you carting along children who will make the task take twice as long.
• Be realistic.  Look at how much time you actually have available in a given day, and decide the best possible use of that time.  What one or two items most need to get done?  Free time is a precious commodity – focus on the tasks that are most important to you.
• Ask “Who cares?”  Really!  Look at what’s on your list, and ask yourself who thinks that each item is important.  Sometimes moms create a lot of unnecessary work for themselves by including lots of “shoulds” on their to-do list, even if no one really cares about a given task being done.  Certain cleaning chores often fall into this category; decide which ones you can dismiss without anyone being likely to notice, or give yourself permission to do these less frequently.
• First things first.  No matter what else is or isn’t getting done, be sure you’re making time to be fully present with your children.  If this falls through the cracks you’ll feel less satisfied overall, no matter what else you’ve accomplished.
• Beware the time thieves!  A “quick” check of e-mail or Facebook can cause huge chunks of time to mysteriously disappear.  The phone and TV are also common culprits.  There’s nothing wrong with taking time out, the trouble happens when unplanned distractions put you behind for the rest of the day.  This is why you might want to…
• Build in play time – for YOU.  Everyone needs down time; if you don’t make any you’ll find it creeping in anyway.  Instead, plan to take a half-hour nap, put your feet up and read, or watch your favorite show during your child’s naptime, and treat yourself to a much-deserved break.  Being a mom is a round-the-clock job, and it can be exhausting; time out can keep you from getting overwhelmed.  Besides, after a little down time you’re likely to be even more productive.  Don’t feel guilty about needing a little respite here and there.

If all else fails, and you’re still not sure where your time goes, keep track for a day or two.  Every half hour or so, write down what you’ve done in this period.  You’re likely to get a very clear idea of where you could use your time more efficiently, and you may realize that you’re already more productive than you think.

Your assignment:  Take a look at your productivity.  What important things aren’t you getting done in a given week, and what changes could you make to be more productive?  Could you reprioritize, better use your time, delegate, or change your expectations and get rid of excess “to-do’s”?  Address what’s most important to you and look for ways to let the rest go.

Ready to take the assignment?  Want to talk about this?  Share your ideas and thoughts at the M.O.M. Balance Forum.

Really, who among us doesn’t want to look fabulous on an ongoing basis?  This is an area lots of moms would like to address.  And of course, “Lose weight!” is one of the top New Year’s resolutions many people make. 

Looking great doesn’t have to involve shedding pounds, however, and there are lots of easy ways to feel better about how you look with or without weight loss being a part of the equation:

·         Know your style.  Your body shape and size have a lot to do with which clothes look great on you and which don’t.  If you find style to be a challenge, an online fashionista who calls herself MissusSmartyPants offers free weekly newsletters and an online radio show filled with great fashion tips and ideas for looking stylish on a shoestring.  She also offers weekly advice tailored to your specific body type for only a few dollars a month.

·         Know your colors.  The color of your skin, eyes and hair determines whether particular colors of clothing make you stand out or look washed out.  It can be hard to see this for yourself, but there are lots of books and websites that can help.  This one is a great starting point.

·         Back to basics.  Some moms will say, “I’m not going anywhere special, so there’s no reason to shower or put on makeup.”  But here’s the thing – even if you don’t have to do these things, they generally make you feel better (and more attractive), and many moms report being more productive when they get out of sweats and into regular clothes.

·         Get physical.  Even a little extra exercise goes a long way towards feeling better.  Aside from the obvious benefit of helping with weight management, a short power walk or quick trip to the gym will leave you more energized for hours afterward, you’ll tend to be less hungry, and exercise boosts your immune system as well.

·         Go green.  Add more fruits and veggies into your diet, and keep them on hand (cut up and ready to eat, ideally) for snacks; any produce will give you more sustained energy than sugary snacks.  The more leafy greens you can add into your diet, the better.  Not only are these low in calories, but they help fight off cancer and heart disease, and they’re good for your bones and eyes too.  Greens are certainly not everyone’s favorites, but with all their benefits it’s worth making an effort to get used to them and eat more.

·         Hit the sack.  Though not always possible if there’s a baby in your house, getting enough sleep helps you look and feel better, giving you more energy, fewer dark circles under your eyes, and a better outlook on life.

·         Attitude is everything.  Well, maybe not everything, but it plays a huge role in how you look and feel.  If you feel confident, this shows in your posture, your eye contact, your gait, and your general body language.  The opposite is true as well.  Look around you and you can quickly separate those who feel good about themselves from those who don’t; make whatever changes you need to make so that you’ll be in the former category rather than the latter, or make your best effort to "fake it 'til you make it!"

Your assignment:  Think about what you could do to look and/or feel better in the coming week.  Consider your clothes, foods and habits to see where there’s room for improvement and commit to at least one positive change.

Ready to take the assignment?  Want to talk about this?  Share your ideas and thoughts at the M.O.M. Balance Forum.

Yes, this title is a bit odd, but there’s a reason for it.  Another option was “Resolve to be a great mom”.  But let’s be honest here – you’re already a great mom.  The fact that you’re taking time to read blogs on mom websites shows that parenting is important to you – and only great moms care about such things to begin with.  But being a great mom and feeling like a great mom can be two very different things, and they don’t always go hand in hand.

The way you feel about your parenting impacts your enjoyment of being a mom and puts the whole experience in a more positive or negative light, so this is an important area to address.  Here are some easy ways to feel better about who you are (and what you do) as a mom:

• Ask yourself what you love about being a mom.  Give this some thought: what specific activities and interactions with your child are your favorites?  The more of these you can build into your daily routine, the better.
• Dump the “shoulds”.  It’s so easy to get caught up in “shoulds,” and in noticing what you haven’t gotten done, that you can lose sight of all the things you have done… and done well. 
• Give yourself a little credit.  If a girlfriend comes to you and says she feels like a bad mom, you’ll come up with ten examples of why she’s wonderful.  But if you’re like most moms you don’t extend this courtesy to yourself.  Give yourself a pat on the back for every story you sit down and read, every hug you give, every crying child you cheer up.  All your loving actions matter, but sometimes the small ones are easy to overlook.
• Try to keep your patience.  There’s nothing like losing one’s temper to make most moms feel awful afterward, whatever the circumstances leading up to the outburst.  Anything you can do to stay calm and stop yourself from yelling will go a long way toward feeling better about the situation later on.
• Create daily quality time.  Whatever makes you feel most connected to your child, look for opportunities to build this in on a daily basis.  This connection goes a long way toward enjoying motherhood and feeling more satisfied.
• Fill in the blank:  I feel like a great mom when ________.  Whatever you just came up with is absolutely essential to focus on, whether it’s a behavior or an activity.  This may seem basic, but moms often don’t focus on the underlying causes of why they’re satisfied or unsatisfied at the end of a given day.

Your assignment:  Think about the things you do that make you feel great as a mom and look for ways to implement these on a regular basis.  If you notice you're being critical of yourself, try to turn this around and give yourself credit for everything you're doing right.  Look for ways to better enjoy the daily journey that is motherhood.  

Ready to take the assignment?  Want to talk about this?  Share your ideas and thoughts at the M.O.M. Balance Forum.

It’s hard to believe 10 years have passed since everyone breathed a sigh of relief that Y2K didn’t bring society as we knew it to a screeching halt at the stroke of midnight on 1/1/2000.  And now a whole new decade is beginning.

Looking back to where you were at the start of the year 2000, did you have any idea you’d be where you are today in terms of your work, your marriage, your children, your life in general?  Do you remember what hopes you had for your life ten years ago?  If you journaled or kept track of your goals and aspirations, how close is your actual life to the life you envisioned?

For some people, this kind of reflection is very satisfying – you’ve accomplished more than you expected, you’re happy with your situation, your children, your partner.  For others, there’s a sense of sadness; you wanted your life to turn out differently, your marriage didn’t work out, your financial picture isn’t as strong as you’d like.  If you feel good about your life, take this opportunity to acknowledge how fortunate you are, and to plan how to continue your positive momentum.  If you wish things were different, look ahead to what specific changes you’d like to make to turn things in a better direction.

When you envision your life over a long period of time, like a decade, almost anything is possible.  So often we start a new year resolving to make huge life changes, only to burn out within a few weeks.  Instead, start thinking about what small (even tiny), meaningful and sustainable changes you can make which will, over time, get you where you want to be.  The tortoise in that old children’s fable (The Tortoise and the Hare) had it right: slow and steady really does win the race.

Here’s a simple example; suppose you want to read more.  You could resolve to set aside an hour every day for reading.  This is a great idea, but probably not realistic for very long.  The tortoise approach, instead, could be to read at least 5 pages of a book every day.  This sounds like almost nothing, but the simplicity is what makes it doable, even on busy days.  Imagine that you did this every single day for a whole year; you would have covered over 1800 pages – several large books.  Granted, 5 pages a day may not feel as satisfying as an hour of reading, but the point is this: over time you can accomplish incredible things with just a little continuing effort.

Over the next few weeks we’ll be looking at some common resolutions and some realistic ways to make them happen, tortoise-style.  Ten years from now, or even one year from now, where do you want your life to be?  What do you want to be doing differently?  And what tiny, tortoise-style changes can you make today to start you on your way?

Your assignment:  Think about your hopes for your life over the next year (or next few years).  When you recognize changes you want to make, decide on ways to implement tortoise-style goals – tiny, sustainable modifications that, over time, will get you exactly where you want to be.  Then start today!  Good luck!

Ready to take the assignment?  Want to talk about this?  Share your ideas and thoughts at the M.O.M. Balance Forum.

Each year, as I get out (and now put away) all my Christmas ornaments, I come upon one that my mother gave me several years ago, when my children were small.  It’s a little “time capsule,” which captured a snapshot of my life at that time – and it always makes me laugh and cry. 

The ornament is a little metal cylinder in the shape of a lantern, with a small piece of parchment inside.  On the paper are questions that I answered about my past year (2000) and my hopes for the year to come (2001).   My responses reflected the fact that I was right smack in the middle of mothering young children; of all the things I could have wished for, at the top of my list was for my 3-year-old son to become potty trained (which happened), and for my 3-month-old daughter to drink from a bottle (which didn’t, so I stayed in very close proximity that next year).

This little ornament always reminds me of some important lessons:

• Keep everything in perspective.  Even though nursing and diapers really did seem like the most important things in the world, these concerns were so fleeting in the big scheme of things, and worked themselves out just like every other childrearing issue does.  Whatever challenge is facing me right now, there’s a good chance that a few deep breaths and a bit more patience are good ways to address it.
• Make time for what really matters.  Whatever non-kid challenges I faced when my children were little (keeping the house clean, running errands and so forth) have long since escaped me.  But I cherish the memories of reading stories together, going to the park, building Thomas train sets with my son, playing with my infant daughter… and I wish I had made even more time for these precious interactions.
• Enjoy the moment.  It’s absolutely clichéd, but I have to say it: the time when your children are small is so fleeting.  You want to savor it as much as possible.  It would have been nice if my daughter would have taken a bottle once in a while, but on the flip side nursing made me stop what I was doing and simply enjoy watching my baby for a little while.  I’ll never have another “magic pill” that instantly fixes everything for my children the way nursing did; I miss that. 
• Capture the moment.  So many moms put off journaling (not to mention scrapbooking) because they don’t have time for anything elaborate.  The thing is, you don’t need a lot of time.  Writing a couple sentences to remind you of cute things your children said or did is all you need to capture a moment.  Take pictures of your child’s unique wardrobe choices and get candid shots when your kids aren’t giving you their “cheese” smiles.  Be sure to record their voices too; all too soon every word will be pronounced correctly, and the little person just learning to talk will be a distant memory.
• Capture your child’s moments.  Every so often, when you talk to your kids about their day, write down the highlights they share – the art project they loved, the tall tower they proudly built.  If they’re a little older, ask them what they remember from the past year.  In my family we do this every December, and I’m always surprised at the memories that stand out for each child.  They often mention special celebrations and holidays, but also things like meeting a new friend, a personal achievement, a special toy, a favorite movie.  For me, having these yearly recollections is priceless.

Your assignment:  As 2009 draws to a close, take a moment to capture this period of time in your life and the lives of your children.  Whatever you want to remember, years from now, document it in some way.  If your kids are old enough, ask them about their own memories – you might be surprised by what they tell you.

Ready to take the assignment?  Want to talk about this?  Share your ideas and thoughts at the M.O.M. Balance Forum.

You’ve probably spent a good amount of time this month finding the perfect gift for each person on your list, but often the best gift you can give yourself isn’t one from a store; it’s the gift of letting go of things in your life which no longer serve you. 

Here are just a few examples of what you might be better off without:

Negative or critical people – Unless you’re related to them, there’s no reason you have to keep people around who bring you down.  If the moms in a particular playgroup make you constantly question your parenting choices, say, or cause you to feel badly about yourself, or even if they just complain all the time, it may not be worth sticking around.  You can find another group for your child, where you’ll both enjoy being.

Things that make you feel bad – Those before-I-had-kids size 6 jeans may have been your favorites, but if you have no reasonable hope of getting back into them then get rid of them.  “Shoulds” make moms hang onto all sorts of things: clothes you think you should be able to fit into, needlework projects you should have time for, cookbooks with impossibly complicated recipes that you should be making for dinner.  These things not only aren’t being used, but cause you to feel bad every time you run across them.  They need to go!

Regrets – It’s easy to beat yourself up long after the fact for mistakes you made or choices you wish you had (or hadn’t) made, believing that this will help you avoid doing the same thing again.  Instead, trust yourself to have learned what you needed to learn, and look toward the choices you want to make next time.  You can’t change what you’ve done in the past, but you can make yourself miserable if you spend more time looking backward than forward.

Excess stuff – Over the years most people collect far more possessions than they need.  Are you good at getting rid of old things when new ones come in?  This sounds simple enough, but can actually be quite difficult, particularly when you haven’t cleaned or organized in a while.  People also hang onto things just in case a need arises for a particular item in the future.  The problem is that when you need the given item you may not be able to find it anyway, so it’s probably not worth taking up space in the meantime.

Unrealistic expectations – You’re setting yourself up to fail any time you declare “I’ll never ______ again” (yell at the kids, overeat, spend hours on Facebook, whatever your particular vice may be).  Instead, look at what behavior you’d rather do and focus on that – “I’m going to try and stay more calm” or “I’m going to eat healthier” for instance.  And here’s another expectation that many moms hold: “I can do it all.”  No, you can’t, and the sooner you accept this the happier you’ll be.  As long as you have children at home, your life involves constantly prioritizing and choosing what is and isn’t going to get done.  Give yourself permission to let go of what you simply don’t have time for.  

Each encumbrance from which you free yourself creates room for new and better things in your life – new people, new possibilities, a new chapter.  You deserve these things; allow yourself the means to welcome them in, by letting go of whatever is no longer serving you.

Your assignment:  Think about which people or things you may be ready to let go of in your life.  Whatever is bringing you down, try to leave it behind.  Find a handful of items to donate, rethink staying in a social situation that makes you unhappy, stop holding yourself to impossible standards, and be willing to forgive yourself for your perceived shortcomings.

Ready to take the assignment?  Want to talk about this?  Share your ideas and thoughts at the M.O.M. Balance Forum.

Most of us have been there at some point. Right in the middle of opening presents or enjoying the big holiday feast your child yells out something mortifying; “This toy is ugly!”  “I hate getting clothes!”  “Grandma’s house always smells bad!”  “This is the worst food ever!”  If you’ve ever had this happen, you know just how embarrassing a child’s poor manners (or inability to think before speaking) can be.

If your child is at least preschool age, there are ways to reduce the odds of an inappropriate outburst:

• Role play – I heard about one set of parents who “gave” their children various household items to treat as gifts, challenging them to come up with something nice to say about the most ordinary of things.  Examples: “This sponge is a nice shade of blue,” or “This spoon will really help me eat my cereal”.  The idea was that if the children could be creatively grateful for truly uninspired objects, they’d be much better equipped to handle real gifts that might otherwise elicit an unpleasant response.
• Model it – Let your children see you graciously receive and open presents.  Explain to your kids that being nice about a present is important, even if they don’t like it.  Assure them that they can air their complaints later, to you, if they have an issue, but that being completely honest when opening gifts may sometimes hurt people’s feelings.
• Practice a basic response – If nothing else, be sure your children know that simply saying “Thank you!” is an appropriate response when they receive any gift.
• Be proactive, especially w/ meals – Prepare your child ahead of time if he tends to be a picky eater or if you know that a particular meal won’t be to his liking.  Decide if you want him to take a bite of everything, eat everything he’s served, or eat something different (that you provide) if you know that an unfamiliar meal will create more difficulties than you feel like dealing with.
• Focus on what TO do – All your “don’ts” tend to put your child’s attention directly where you don’t want it to be; focus on what you DO want.  For instance, tell your kids “Sit nicely at the table and only say polite things about the food,” or “No matter what you think of your presents, smile and give each person a big hug.”

We frequently don’t think about issues of manners until it’s too late, but often a little preparation goes a long way toward avoiding embarrassing moments.  However, if your child still says or does something awful just remember that at least you’ll have a good story to share after the fact!

Your assignment:  Think about your upcoming celebrations, and what you might do to instill good manners in your children and avoid having them say something they shouldn't.  Help them work through what to say and do, to make your holiday nicer for everyone.

Ready to take the assignment?  Want to talk about this?  Share your ideas and thoughts at the M.O.M. Balance Forum.

“Oh sure,” you said as you read the title; “there’s not enough time for everything I already need to get done.  I’m supposed to add more to my list?”  Well, yes, you are.

December is the busiest month of the year for many, but that’s not a reason to put your self-care on hold.  In fact, there’s no better time to give yourself a little extra TLC.  This month often becomes about doing umpteen tasks on an endless to-do list; putting yourself and your own needs somewhere on this list can make the difference between enjoying the season and starting to feel like a martyr.

Think about it.  Right about now, aren’t you spending extra time to make everyone else feel special?  You’re probably buying lots of gifts, maybe taking on a service project here or there, mailing cards and packages, all for the sake of letting others know how much they mean to you.  Moms do so much for so many people, especially this time of year.  Look for ways to extend this kindness to yourself too:

• Think small – even if large indulgences are out, there are lots of little things you can do for yourself.  Put your feet up and sip hot cocoa with a favorite book for a few minutes.  Pick up some fresh flowers to adorn your home, light a candle or a fire, turn on music you love.  Whatever makes you smile, make it happen.
• Think quick – what friends have you been wanting to see?  Social time is a wonderful gift to give yourself, and even with the busiest schedule you can fit in half an hour for coffee or an hour for lunch.
• Prioritize – with everything you have to do, a few things are bound to slip through the cracks, but somehow the most important tasks manage to get done. Be sure that self-care is high enough on the list to make the cut.
• Stay in shape – exercise may not be your favorite, but for stress relief (and to offset some of the holiday goodies) it’s extremely important.  Don’t tell yourself there isn’t time; exercise usually gives you more energy, so you get more done, and you sleep better too.  Besides – admit it – you always feel great afterward.
• Remember the basics – getting enough sleep and eating well aren’t especially exciting, but they’ll keep you feeling better overall, and help you resist all the flu bugs going around.

The more you keep yourself healthy and happy the more stamina you’ll have, and the better able you’ll be to tackle everything you still have on that to-do list.  This is the season of giving – be sure you’re giving enough to YOU.

Your assignment:  Think of one nice thing you can do for yourself this week (or better yet today) and make it happen.  Set aside the time you need for self-care, call the friend you’ve been meaning to get ahold of, or just allow yourself some down time, even if only a little.  Good luck!

Ready to take the assignment?  Want to talk about this?  Share your ideas and thoughts at the M.O.M. Balance Forum.

The phrase “Happy Holidays” is a common greeting in December, but it doesn’t describe the mindset of a lot of moms.  If you’re overwhelmed right now, with a general sense of anxiety about time, a long to-do list, tons of activities and getting everything done, “happy” may not be among the words that best sum up your feelings.

There are, however, some simple ways to make this time of year more enjoyable.

• Do what you have to.  Make a list (and check it twice) of everything that must be done – the gifts to buy, packages to wrap or mail, baking to do, lights to hang – whatever tasks that for you are non-negotiable.  Try to figure out a rough timetable for each item, so you don’t end up with a pile of critical jobs still facing you at the eleventh hour.
• But don’t try to do it all.  What can you delegate?  What can you take a shortcut on or skip altogether?  There’s no rule saying you have to bake the cookies that take you four hours.  Moms are known to make themselves absolutely crazy with self-imposed “shoulds” that are completely unrealistic with small children at home.  If you really don’t want to pull out every single box of decorations this year, no one besides you will know; give yourself a break if you need a little less on your plate.
• Think about what traditions you want to begin or continue with your children.  Opportunities abound for good times and memory making.  Even if money is tight, there’s lots of free fun to be had – click here for a listing of free family holiday activities throughout the Sacramento area.  Many neighborhoods have spectacular light displays that are sure to entertain everyone (among them Dovewood Court in Orangevale; to find displays in your own area, click here).  Or keep things closer to home and spend an evening stringing popcorn for the tree or reading every holiday story you have in the house.
• But once again, moderation is key.  There comes a point where one more craft, outing, celebration, party or visit to Santa is simply one too many.  Each activity is fun, but focus on a few that you can truly enjoy rather than trying to cram every holiday offering into your already busy schedule.  You’re setting yourself up for failure (and your youngsters for meltdowns) if you try to do it all.
• Get everyone’s input.  Pick a handful of activities that sound fun to you, and let each child pick one that they’d like to do.  Ask your husband what his favorite tradition from childhood was, and incorporate this.  Think about what memories you most want to have from this month, and make time to create these.

When January rolls around, the most important thing won’t be recalling how many places you took your kids, or how many activities you all did.  Instead, what you’ll want to remember is a month of having fun together, of joy rather than anxiety, of less rushing around and more focusing on the special times.  Make this a month for Happy Holidays!

Your assignment:  Look at the month ahead and think about what you want to do – and to skip – to make the season enjoyable and manageable for your family.  Choose a few activities for you and your children, and figure out when to make these happen.  Make time for what matters most, and give yourself permission to bypass those things that are more stressful than enjoyable. 

Ready to take the assignment?  Want to talk about this?  Share your ideas and thoughts at the M.O.M. Balance Forum.