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The pain in my head, so strong and sharp

The feeling of fluttering within my heart

My body aches from head to toe

Sometimes my fingertips are as white as snow

My vision is cloudy and my mind astray

It’s been six weeks now; it’s soon to go away

Living with this brings on such despair

But it keeps me a float to know my Father is there…

Forever my Father will live in my heart

Never away from God will I depart

My heart encounters silence throughout the day

To be of the world, is from God we stray

I’ve learned I have something that will challenge my health 

No one will ever know what it is because it comes with such stealth

Mercy and Grace; each day I pray that soon my Father will lift this

and forever it will go away.

Lupus… many have it and few know of it. If you’ve been diagnosed

this is for you!  God is able to heal each and everyone of us, I await my

turn as I seek his face.

Ever wonder why silence presents loneliness?

Ever wonder why so few people seek holiness?

Ever wonder why a touch from a stranger can bring fourth a smile?

Ever wonder why the hardest race to win is only a mere mile?

Ever wonder why the words I love you tend to make us cry?

Ever wonder why it hurts so bad when someone tells you a lie?

Ever wonder why we long to be loved?

Ever wonder why the bird or peace is a dove?

Ever wonder why we can so easily sit and place blame?

Ever wonder why letting someone down brings fourth so much shame?

Ever wonder why the loss of a loved one hurts so deep?

Ever wonder why forgiveness seems like such a leap?

Ever wonder why life seems so hard to live?

Ever wonder why money seems so hard to give?

Ever wonder why so many of us carry hurt?

Ever wonder why marriage came with a cert?

Ever wonder why it seems so hard raising children?

Ever wonder why the birthing of a child was given to women?

Ever wonder why tears fall from your eyes?

Ever wonder why stars come out only in midnight skies?

Ever wonder why life is filled with such sorrow?

Ever wonder why the next day is referred to as tomorrow?

Ever wonder why the loudest words spoken are the one’s you don’t ever speak.

Ever wonder why when you think of God you feel so meek?

Ever wonder why without God you feel so weak?

Ever wonder why there seems much more to life then what we simply seek?

We can sit and wonder each and everyday what is it that we are missing, what is it that we are longing for, what is it that just doesn’t seem complete; or we can turn to God and seek his love and will in our lives. I’ve been one of those people who sat and wondered why? Today, I’m one of a difference, I now seek God and I seek after his will to be done in my life. Yeah, there are times when I struggle and I find myself wondering; and then I realized that emptiness is coming back and I regain my footing and refocus on God. Then and only then do I feel a sense of wholeness and everything seems to make sense, even without a full explanation?

Life isn’t meant to figure out. It’s meant to live, learn, lead and love.

We live to seek God our father.

We learn that living without him is the most difficult.

We lead those who are seeking to find him.

We love those whom he has placed before us.

Life could be understood, only with God in your heart and as your main focus from morning to night. If you feel a sense of emptiness, it could be that God is no longer in your sight.

Who am I?

I’m usually ran to for protection

My warming comfort; is your first recollection

I teach you what it means to be strong

I’m the first one to approach you with the consequences of your wrong

I show you the true meaning of endurance

I’m usually looked to for assurance

I’m spoken of as the rock on which we stand

I never hesitate to give a demand

I handle times of despair with the slightest hesitation

I’m quick to pull the finances together with the slightest manipulation

I put myself on the front line of danger

Even if what you have done has brought upon me feelings mirroring anger

I’m your Father:

A man whose soul cries out to be loved, but doesn’t know how to initiate it

A man who longs for a hug, but doesn’t know how to initiate it

A man who yearns for company, but doesn’t know how to initiate it

A man who wishes to be held, but doesn’t know how to initiate it

A man who desires to hear I love you, but doesn’t know how to initiate it.

My Father was a man who could withstand anything and everything but did not know how to initiate the simple return of love.

I learned from my Father, that love has many facets and each facet will be shown throughout the journey of life. The strongest facet of love my Father shown was through strength. My Father was raised in a home where a boy was structured into a man; a man who could withstand anything and everything and would never break.

My Father lived up to his Father’s expectations for almost his entire life. I say almost his entire life, because in his final moments here on earth, his soul cried out for love, his arms reached for a hug, his every moment was filled with company, his body was embraced by his family, and he heard the simple words of I love you more then I ever have in my thirty seven years of life.  See, in my Fathers final moments every single soul that came within inches from him felt love so much so that tears of joy streamed their faces and his strength kept them standing. In his final moments he showed the true identity of a man.

My Father is now home with our Father God. You know… it’s ironic to think, that my Father went through his whole life longing to hear I love you spoken by the members of his family and in his final moments the last words spoken were I love you! I know that to be true, because I held my Father in my arms as he reached for God’s hand to go home. And when his eyes released the tears of good-bye, I knew it was my final moment to speak what he always longed to hear; I love you!