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Full Moons and Safety Glass
Full Moons and Safety Glass
Balancing money, time, self, and family
Member Since: April 14, 2008 Last Signed In: November 15, 2009 Blog Views: 3929 Send To A Friend Sign Guestbook Add as a Friend
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At the close of every year, who can help but look back at what has gone on over the past 360-odd days with wonder, amazement, and gratitude that we made it out relatively unscathed? In 2008, I turned 35 and really feel (as I am about to turn 36) that this was one of my best years ever. There are a bunch of reasons why, but I realized a cliché that I had heard so many times before--that a woman’s thirties are her best decade. Well, it took me five years, but I feel like I got there this year. Here’s why…
• My girls came into their own this year. They are not babies anymore (whoo hoo) and it was hilarious, frustrating, exhilarating, terrifying, and exhausting to get a glimpse of what their future will hold. • Paul and I actually acted like a (gasp!) couple again. We went out many times for date night AND went away for three whole days for our anniversary. It was great and seems to be getting greater all the time. • I kicked booty at work. Not only did I make more money than I have ever made in my life (OK, I know that is tacky to say, but I don’t care I am still proud of myself) I also grew my department from three staff to eleven. They function as a team and are all poised for really exciting stuff in the coming year. • My nieces are strong. I don’t want to go on about this again, but I can’t underscore how much it has meant to my entire family that they are healthy and happy. • I took control of my lack of exercise and diet. I walked a half marathon and continue to work at getting back in shape. • I reconnected with a couple of really important people from my past. I’m not always so good at that—I usually close doors and don’t look back. I tracked down one friend whom I hadn’t seen in nearly 15 years (thanks Facebook) and managed to have dinner with him this past October. He was SO important to me at the time we were friends and I was grateful to be able to tell him that face to face and get caught up. • I accepted the fact that despite much ineptitude and total lack of creativity, I am addicted to scrapbooking. I don’t care how geeky that makes me sound. It’s true. I will NOT however be wearing anything with puffy paint. • But most importantly—and I sincerely mean this—I discovered the incredible gift that SacMomsClub has given me. Not only have I made some truly wonderful friends (you know who you are) but I have connected with countless others whose wisdom and support I have appreciated and valued. I am also humbled and grateful to have found a passion and a voice for writing through this blog. A passion that I never knew I had and never would have found without you guys. Full Moons and Safety Glass has been an incredible journey for me. One that I know will continue. Maybe I am not always funny or smart or poignant or even interesting…but I always try and I always care. Thanks…and happy new year!
The end of 2008 is upon us and it seems like I can’t flip on the computer, turn on the TV or listen to NPR without hearing about the impact that the economy is having on Wall Street and Main Street. Personally, I haven’t had the guts to look at my 401K or the girls’ 529 accounts in two months. As a member of over-gifters anonymous, I begrudgingly did Christmas on a budget this year. Basically, I’m sick of hearing about both streets, particularly since I live on a “court”. But, with the news that my state-employed hubby will likely be furloughed at least twice a month—equating to a 10% pay decrease (ARGH)--it brought the reality home that I need to start thinking of tightening the financial purse strings.
Now, Paul and I are no strangers to getting by on less. Between 2003 and 2007 both of us were laid off. Never mind the fact that I peppered our tenuous financial situation by being out on maternity leave twice. Being poor is something that I don’t enjoy, so I started poking around for tips to free up some cash to pad our savings or add to those credit card balances. Surfing the net, there were lots of ideas that had a long term impact (creating more energy efficient homes, canceling gym memberships, reducing taxable income through participation in medical savings accounts). While those were all great ideas, I was looking for ideas that seemed immediate and do-able. One of the biggest issues with such a Big Economic Recession is combating the feeling that I am totally out of control. Sure, the big things need to be attended to, but I wanted things that I felt I could do to immediately impact the family budget’s bottom line. Let’s face it, spending is emotional and most couples fight about money. I also wanted ideas that I thought would be practical for me. Honestly, I am a working mom. My schedule, including travel, can be pretty insane. It isn’t reasonable to assume that I am going to pack a lunch everyday. So, I put together a list of things that I thought were realistic and found that I could easily save over $200 each month. I was shocked, so I figured I would share it: 1. Buy generic—cornflakes, canned corn, cheese. Stick to the commodities if your champagne tastes demand it, but keep in mind that making a few simple changes could result in about $20 in savings during the month. 2. Air up your tires. I know this will irritate you because it will mean that your husband is right, but for every two PSI that your tires are below the recommended level, you lose 1% on your gas mileage. Most car tires are up to ten PSI below the normal level, so that means by just airing up your tires, you can improve your gas mileage by up to 5%. If you spend an average of $100 on gas each month, you’ll save $5. It’s not a lot of cash but its effortless so why not give it a try? 3. Skip the barista coffee on Tuesdays and Thursdays all month. If an average grande latte is costing you about $3.50, this will save you about $7 per week, or $21 per month. Notice I did NOT say to skip the lattes on Monday. That would just be cruel and unusual. The same goes for “hump” day when we all need an extra caffeine boost, or Friday when…well…we just deserve it. 4. Skip the mani-pedi this month. Even at a cheap chop shop, you will be paying at least $50 for both services. Even more if you head back to the shop for touch ups. Can’t skip them both? Well, pick one and skip it, you'll still save $25. 5. Bring your lunch once a week. An average lunch out will run you about $12. Brown bagging it once a week will save you about $48 for the whole month. Heck, that is a mani-pedi the next month. 6. Avoid the trashy magazines. Really, what’s the Internet for if you can’t read what’s going on with Brangelina and Britney in real time? Save the $16 a month and check out the wide range of “celebrity watch” blogs and websites—the bloggers are free and easy with sarcastic commentary that People and US wouldn’t DARE print. Besides, do you even know who Audrina and Zac are, anyway? 7. Bottle your own water. Do the planet one better and bottle at home with a stainless steel water bottle. An average one-liter bottled water is usually priced around $4. Skipping two of those each month adds up…both in your wallet and in your recycle bin. 8. Swap babysitting with friends once a month instead of paying your teenage neighbor. Suddenly, that $30 movie date with your hubby is costing you nearly $60. 9. Avoid Target. I know this is hard. Target has a strong siren song that can be like crack to mothers. I love it too--half my wardrobe is from Target. That’s the problem...moms cross through the doors of Target with the intention of stocking up on toilet paper, pull-ups, and dish soap. And, what happens?? $150 later we have a basket full of DVDs, socks, lipstick, and kids clothes. So, skip it this month. I can’t speak for you, but my unscientific estimate suggests that a savings of at least $50 per month is possible. 10. BYOB. Having a date night out with your honey? Bring your own bottle of wine and pay an average of $10 for a corkage fee. A decent $15 bottle of wine is at least twice as much when you eat out, add the corkage fee and you are still ahead of the game. If you guys are big wine drinkers and your bottle is in the $35-$60 range, you are WAY ahead of the game. Suggested monthly savings $245. Good luck…and happy saving!
Beyond all the craziness of the season, one of the things I love most about this time of year, is the anniversary of something amazing that happened last year. I am absolutely delighted that for the rest of my life, the Christmas holiday season will forever be linked with the December 13th birthday of my amazing nieces, Evelyn and Clara. Last Saturday, they turned one. Their journey from the womb to their cozy house in Denver is an incredible one. In truth, I'm not sure who I am more proud of...the girls or my sister for being the most accomplished and dedicated mother I know.
So, instead of blogging on the topic myself, I wanted to simply include a jump to my sister's blog. Some things are best succinctly summed by the mom of such amazing kids. http://thirdfloorhome.blogs... Happy holidays!
Nothing turns me into a Christmas Scrooge like the constant droning on and on of trite Christmas music. Oh sure, on December first my tolerance is high. Holiday spirit courses through my veins and I am ready to take on the rest of the month with enthusiasm and vigor. At that point, I can still stomach the sticky sweet sounds of the Pat Boones or Barry Manilows crooning on and on about winter wonderlands. But somewhere around the tenth of the month (ahem…please note today’s date) I become officially sick of it. The super cheesy versions of the Christmas classics begin to irritate me to the point that I start looking for anything to stuff into my ears…artificial snow, marshmallows, anything.
Honestly, I’m not sure which is worse…Barry Manilow or the easy listening/muzac version that plays in every mall and store at this time of year. Just when I think I have trained my ears to tune it out, something will get my attention and I can’t stop hearing it. It has the same effect on me as when I first notice someone who uses an abundance of “ums” in their speech. At first I don’t recognize it, but once I do…eeeeeech…its like nails on a chalkboard. Don’t get me wrong, I like the old classics…the Nat King Cole, the Bing Crosby, the Peggy Lee with her rockin’ around the Christmas tree. I adore listening to the Vince Girualdi Trio busting out the Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack. I also like the funkier, more offbeat stuff…baroque instrumentals, Willie Nelson singing “Frosty the Snowman”, Bare Naked Ladies and their version of “God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman”, and I’m a sucker for the Bing Crosby/David Bowie version of “Little Drummer Boy”. There is plenty of Christmas music I do like, I promise. The problem is that there is more bad Christmas music out there than good. It’s kind of like sushi. I know this about Christmas music because for some inexplicable reason, I have been listening to the Christmas music station every time I am in the car with my girls. The girls LOVE it. It delights them in a way that I can’t recreate with commute-time conversations. (Upon reflection, I think this is probably revenge for being forced to listen to NPR the other eleven months of the year.) Their love of the constant Christmas soundrack means, for at least an hour a day, I am subjected to Christina Aguilera and her high-pitched falsetto or Celine Dion belting out some annoying song I had never heard of until nine days ago (“The Magic of Christmas Day”). ARGHHHHHH…Celine Dion. Really? I have to listen to Celine Dion? There is nothing in my waking life that would EVER compel me to listen to Celine Dion. Celine Dion with that over-the-top, Phil Spector-esque, orchestral background accompaniment with her voice a-blazing. I can almost envision Celine smacking herself on her chest as the music and vocals reach their crescendo. I’m not debating the quality of her voice, its just that cheesy sugary sweet pop music isn’t something I can listen to—not even for Santa and Baby Jesus. But it wasn’t Christina or Celine that sent me over the edge today. It was Josh Groban. Now, I barely know who the guy is in the first place. Honestly, my mental image of him is a piano playing, more talented, older Jonas brother. OK, maybe I’m not being fair. But…I swear (this is TOTALLY true) every day for the past five weekdays I have suffered through his version of “O Holy Night” as I drop the girls off at school. Just to be clear, I am NOT an organized morning person, so I have not been dropping them off at the same time every day. Today I dropped them off a full hour later than I did yesterday. This has allowed me to eliminate the possibility that I am stuck in some radio play list loop that coincides with my morning commute. Nope, that’s not it. I have decided that the only possibility is that Josh Groban is stalking me. And, despite my best efforts, the restraining order won’t kick in until December 26th.
Ahhhhhh…Christmas time. Peace on earth, good cheer, family, baby Jesus. It really is magical. I have always loved this time of year. I love it even more now that my girls are old enough to really embrace it. I look forward to creating all kinds of memories with them.
My own Christmas memories are colored by a childhood that was interesting to say the least. My dad is a retired oil guy, so I spent the first nine years of my life in Saudi Arabia. Try embracing Christmas in a Muslim country. Big fun. Ha! Not to mention when Christmas rolled around in December and it was still 80 degrees outside. I didn’t get a real tree until I was ten. As a result, I am almost fanatical about having a real tree. Add to the mix, the divorce of my parents about the time we moved back to the States. My sister and I had a schizophrenic holiday experience that included two separate Christmas celebrations in two separate states. These days, Paul and I make an extra effort to stay at home each Christmas. If any of our family wants to trek to California for the holiday, they are welcome. Otherwise, we do our own thing. Nice and quiet. Paul and I do make an effort to create holiday memories and traditions for our girls, even if their extended family is no where to be seen. I was thinking about those traditions this week. Thinking about what constitutes a tradition. Is a tradition something this contrived and planned or is it something that just happens? One of the biggest Christmas traditions is, obviously, Santa’s Christmas Eve visits. It’s interesting that Santa’s habits and idiosyncrasies vary from family to family. Sure, most of us hang stockings and leave cookies and milk for the big guy (as well as a little somethin’ somethin’ for those busy reindeer). But where else is the common ground? Here are a few of the Santa traditions around my house. Some of them are hold-overs from when Paul and I were kids. Some are newer traditions that only cropped up when we had our own kids.
Of course, all of these Santa traditions got me thinking about other traditions around our house. Holiday movies, holiday foods, holiday books. In fact, tonight, I was reminded of one of my favorite traditions. And this one doesn’t even have anything to do with the girls. Although, now that the girls are here, they have been incorporated into the activity. Every year we have been together, Paul has given me an ornament. Not just any old ornament, but a beautiful glass ornament from one of those fancy Christmas stores. A $40 dollar ornament. Over the past nine years, he has even been able to coordinate the ornament with events of the past year (i.e. a gingerbread house for the year we bought our house, a dear with a fawn for the year Ava was born, etc. For the past three years, the girls have gone with Paul to help pick out the ornament. This year, while I decorated the tree with both girls (well, mostly with Ava my four year old), I got to tell the story of each ornament. So in all of the chaos, stress, financial angst, and even (ahem) fun of the holiday season…take some time to find some comfort in the familiar. And if you need to, create a little familiarity that you can count on next year. Ho, ho, ho.
My husband likes to irritate me with a little game. Nearly every time I tell him that I love him, he looks at me and asks “Really, why?”
Maybe if we were newlyweds, I might find this cute. If our love was new…I might have a list of endearing qualities that I was anxious to rattle off to him. But, we’ve been together for more than nine years, we have two kids, and I don’t have time or patience to engage in this back and forth with him. He isn’t fishing for a compliment or looking for affirmation. Really, he’s just a being a pain in the butt. He knows that the “why” question drives me crazy. It drives me crazy the same way that any time Brendan Fraiser appears in a movie trailer or on TV, he bellows in a high pitched voice as loudly as he can “Oooooooooooooh, Brendan Fraiser…I love him!” He knows full-well I can’t stand Brendan Fraiser. I find Brendan Fraiser to be an untalented Neanderthal. He knows full-well that it was his girlfriend from a decade ago that liked Brendan Fraiser…yet, somehow after nine years of saying this to me, he still finds this hilarious. He finds it hilarious, and I cringe at the very mention of Brendan Fraiser’s name, anticipating the declaration of love that is guaranteed to pop out of Paul’s mouth. In any case…my darling husband has been sick for the past few days. The flu and cold that wiped out first my girls and then myself, finally came to rest squarely on his immune system. As most women are aware, a sick husband is simply…well…pathetic. Yesterday, while lying in a cocoon in the bed watching football and looking pitiful, he struck my maternal nerve. The “I love yous” just kept popping out of me. As did his predictable and aggravating retort. Well, Paul. You win. In the spirit of being thankful this holiday season, I decided to make a list of why I love you. So there. 1. I love that you first point out, and then, complain when I immediately change into my pajamas upon my return from work. I do this even if I come home at three in the afternoon. Why do I love that you complain about this and call me the “crazy pajama lady”? I love this because it is a reminder to me that our love and marriage is a totally comfortable place. It is safe. Safe enough for me to wear PJs before sunset. 2. I love that you make the very best pancakes I have ever had in my entire life. This is totally true. Anyone reading this blog would be lucky to eat your pancakes. The girls and I are lucky to eat your pancakes. I hope to be eating those pancakes for the rest of my life. 3. I love that you really never complained when I threw up on you when I was in labor with Ava. I have always felt so bad about that. I know that you love to tell the story, but you have never really complained. I also love that you called the nurse and ordered my epidural. You knew that I was being ridiculously stubborn about resisting it. You took good care of me that day. Even if you wouldn’t rub my disgusting and swollen feet. 4. While I am at it…I love you for not panicking the day Carmen was born. Truth be told, I was scared to death that day. I thought we had lost her. If you hadn’t been so calm and collected, I would have come unglued. 5. I love you for agreeing to go to Costa Rica for our honeymoon. I know that you aren’t struck with the same sense of spontaneity and wanderlust that I am. Thanks for going along for the ride and having a great time in the process. We could have just as easily ended up on a honeymoon in Hawaii. Just when I am ready to bang my head against a wall because I feel like we are so different in this regard, you surprise me. I love you for that. 6. I love you for cleaning our gutters, checking the air in my tires, calling the roto-rooter guy, cleaning out the garage, rewiring outlets, stripping the floors, maintaining the sailboat, and cutting things down in our yard with a chainsaw. Seriously, I have never met another individual as industrious as you when it comes to this type of stuff. I marvel at it. I know it saves us thousands of dollars a year. Well done…and thanks. 7. I love you for trying to teach Ava and Carmen not to throw a baseball like a girl. I think you have your work cut out for you, but I appreciate the tenacity you apply to the situation. I know both girls will be stronger for it. Even if it means that the three of you will always make fun of the way I throw. 8. I love you for calling my on my shizz. 9. I love you for telling me how you feel when you are upset. OK…maybe you don’t always use actual words, but you always tell me that something is wrong through your actions or long periods of silence. 10. Finally, I love you for agreeing on Sunday to go furniture shopping with the girls and me. You felt like garbage, but you went anyway. Then, to my surprise, you suggested that we drive out to Davis Ranch and get our Christams tree…a 40 minute diversion from the usual parking lot tree selection process that we usually undertake. I love you because even once we finally got to Davis Ranch (with the girls screeching in the car the whole time) you found out that we had to cut our own tree down. We had not come prepared. You had no gloves, chainsaw (see #6), or tarp for the car. Despite feeling like total garbage, you cut that tree down on your own, secured it to the roof, and got it into a tree stand once at home. You did this all without complaining. Now, please, will you stop asking “Why?” And for God’s sake…please stop with the Brendan Fraiser thing. |
