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Full Moons and Safety Glass
Full Moons and Safety Glass
Balancing money, time, self, and family
Member Since: April 14, 2008 Last Signed In: November 15, 2009 Blog Views: 3929 Send To A Friend Sign Guestbook Add as a Friend
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Well, it must be Halloween, because there is a pair of big, rubber b*obs in my kitchen trash can.
Haunting, indeed.
Normally, I don't use my blog space to complain and vent. Normally, I take the high road, find the humor in my crazy life as a working mom of two young girls. Normally, I look for a common theme that links me back, grounds me, keeps things in perspective.
Normally. But normally doesn't apply right now. There is nothing normal about the way that my four-year-old is acting right now. At least not normal for a four-year-old. Normal, maybe, for a pre-menses 12 year old--histrionics, dramatic mood swings, unnecessary anxiety. For a four-year-old? Seriously? If this is what I have to look forward to...well...there isn't enough wine in Napa to get me through the high school years. Oh. My. God. She has been over the top awful. Lots of upheaval in her life these days for sure--a new part time preschool program slotted around her regular full-day day care program, transitions that have led to her being separated from her school and gymnastics buddies, a mom who has been traveling a lot, etc, etc. My normally outgoing kid is so dang articulate, she can actually talk about the whole range of emotions she is going through right now ("nervous", "lonely", "frustrated"). Paul and I have worked so hard to help her name her emotions, but at the end of the day, she is still just a four-year-old who doesn't know what to do with all of those normal emotions. Well, kid, welcome to the club. I, too, have reached my emotional limit. I took Friday off so that I could talk with her new preschool teacher and spend some uninterrupted one-on-one time with her. Normally, this would have done the trick. She would have been recalibrated. Today, I left work early AGAIN after only three hours in the office. And, I'm looking at working only a half day on Wednesday so that I can try--once again--to observe her in her classroom environment and talk with her teachers. Well...I am over it. And by "it", I mean the stress, anxiety, guilt, and frustration that has completely engulfed me. Oh, sure, I could write on and on about the myriad of experiences that have transpired over the past month. But...what's the point? In the end, I'm sure I would just get a bunch of unsolicited-though-well-meaning advice about how normal these incidences are in the grand scheme of of a smart four-year-old. I'd probably even hear warnings like "oh, you think you have problems now...wait until she is 15." Bleh. Instead, I just want to wallow in self pity, frustration, and exhaustion and wait for things to get back to, well, normal. Like many parents of young children, I often find myself harkening back to the simpler time of my own childhood. Back to the days of four TV channels, Laura Ingalls Wilder, roller skates with a stopper, trips to the library, and the Muppets. My girls have at least ten children’s channels to choose from, plus an unlimited amount of options on DVD and TiVo. I won’t even go into the vast amount of books, clothes, toys, and activities at their disposal. It’s enough to make their Generation X mother’s head spin. I mean, I want my kids to have choices and opportunities to find their bliss (blah…blah…blah), but I feel like all of the “stuff” they have access to it a little over the top. No, actually…I know it is over the top. But, I have discovered The Great Equalizer. YouTube. In a manner of seconds, I can transport the girls to the childhood of my past…the Muppets, the Electric Company, and countless others. In addition to all of that, the girls and I have rifled around the vast number of YouTube clips and found some new favorites. Well, favorites for them anyway. I find most of it mind numbing. A dancing cat, a purple hippo singing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight”, a Sims version of “Barbie Girl”. You get the picture. Here are some links to the current popular favorites. http://www.youtube.com/watc... http://www.youtube.com/watc... http://www.youtube.com/watc... http://www.youtube.com/watc... http://www.youtube.com/watc... http://www.youtube.com/watc... So, I suffer through the 2 minutes and 49 seconds of video clip as the girls giggle, clap, and point to the screen. Two minutes and 49 seconds may not seem like that long, but because YouTube provides suggestions for additional clips as the first clip is ending, this process can go on forever, and ever, and ever, and ever…
My four-year-old is so verbal, sometimes I forget that my two-year-old is stumbling through early language development. Like her older sister, Carmen’s first baby signs and words occurred early and she has continued to talk ever since. And talk. And talk. And talk.
Basically, Paul and I never have any peace and quiet at home. Most of what Carmen says provides some discernable snippets as to what she is actually trying to communicate. We can usually understand her--maybe because we’re the parents--but I would like to think that the rest of the world would be able to put together at least 75% of what she is saying. At least when talking with her in person. I’m not sure I could project this as boldly with the phone conversations she participates in. Despite her verbal acumen there are still some things that trip us up. Most notably, her ability to interject extra syllables into words. Here are some examples: He-yelp = Help No-wah = No Neck-a-less = Necklace Yea-ah = Yeah Die-a-per = Diaper Why-ah = Why Of course, she has also perfected the Toddler Art of shortening words as well, my favorite one being: Pooter = Computer. I guess @TEOTD, all of this Toddler Speak, will in some way, prepare me for the day at age 13 when she will only communicate with me through a completely unintelligible text message. I should be grateful for the extra syllables while I have them. Otherwise, MEGO, and I won't have a clue as to what she'll be saying. AAR8, it all makes me feel old and unable to understand her, so I guess I should get used to it. NISM? CFN Confused? Check out this website for clarification: www.netlingo.com
Well…I did it. Yesterday I moved my hip flexers and feet for 3 hours, 24 minutes, and 12 seconds. That is, I finished the Sacramento Cowtown Half Marathon—my first walking half marathon (13.1 miles). And, I did it in less than three and a half hours, which was my goal.
Actually, my real goal was to get moving again. Since my first daughter was born over four years ago I have felt like a couch potato, a bump on a log, the lazy dog that the quick brown fox keeps jumping over. Damn that quick brown fox, I was so sick of him taunting me. Last March, I decided that the only way out of it was to set a physical goal. A goal that would apply a little public pressure and public shaming if I backed out. I committed myself to walking a half marathon and then I told everyone I knew that I had committed to it. That way, I couldn’t back out. Even when my dad and sister, with whom I had originally planned to walk, did back out. I stayed the course. Sort of. The three of us had originally planned to congregate in Colorado Springs over Labor Day (my dad is in Texas, I am in Sacramento, and my sister is in Denver). That didn’t work out for one reason or another, so I recalibrated and signed up for the Cowtown which was as close to the original goal date as I could find. I couldn’t back out, even when I realize that I wasn’t losing a single pound. Not a single, stupid pound. Now, don’t start with all that “muscle weighs more than fat” crap, I don’t want to hear it. Not a single pound. ARGH. I couldn’t back out, even after I realized how dang bor-ing it is to walk for more than two hours at a time. I know I should have had some kind of “walking buddy”, but my summer schedule was too erratic. I would have just frustrated a walking buddy. Thank god for audio books and iTunes. By June, I was so sick of the music on my iPod, I thought I would barf. Audio books got me through. I couldn't back out when, after four straight days of wearing heels last week at my annual conference screwed up my right foot. I was actually really nervous that I wouldn't make it, but the top of my foot didn't hurt at all during the race. Whew. Finally, I couldn’t back out, even when I realized that I had probably under-trained. Truth be told, the most mileage I had logged on a training walk was 10 miles. I didn’t even usually walk more than twice a week. But, I did notice about two months ago that six miles was starting to come pretty easily. And, I thought…well…if six is coming easy…how hard can 13.1 really be? Well…it wasn’t that hard. It wasn’t especially fun after about mile 11, but it wasn’t that hard, either. In the end, I met my goal and made some significant progress towards getting my athletic endurance back up so that I can enjoy the outdoor activities that I love: snow skiing, hiking, and cycling. It was also great having my husband, kids, and cranky wiener dog at the finish line. Even if the girls did continue to ask me all day if I had "won" the race. Walking got me moving again. For that I am grateful. But, I’m ready to hit the bike path on an actual bike. |
