HomeFull Moons and Safety Glass
Full Moons and Safety Glass
Balancing money, time, self, and family
Member Since: April 14, 2008 Last Signed In: December 04, 2008 Blog Views: 2472 Send To A Friend Sign Guestbook Add as a Friend
Let Me Count the Ways
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One of the things I love most about the neighborhood where we live is our close proximity to Pond Park and the bike path. Before marriage, before kids, we lived in a dumpy little duplex in a million-dollar neighborhood. We loved it. We spent more time on that bike path together than we ever did gazing at each other over candlelit dinners or holding hands staring at sunsets. When it came time to buy, we couldn’t afford anything right off the park, so we crossed Fair Oaks Blvd. to stay in the area and stay on budget.
Nearly six years married, two kids later. This past Saturday. In a desperate attempt to stay on track with the ridiculously over-zealous training plan for my September walking half marathon I struck out for the bike path. Five miles. Can I reach a 14 minute/mile pace today? I tried to ignore the temperature that was steadily creeping towards 90 degrees. I also tried to ignore the bickering from the back seat. Oh…didn’t I mention?? Paul was up at the boat, washing it, and trying to get it in the water. That meant, I had the distinct pleasure and honor of trying to “do something for myself and get some exercise” with the girls in tow. My reality was distinctly different then theirs. Oh, you know them. The “super fit”. They are the cyclists, walkers, and runners zipping by on the bike path at an unbelievable clip. Sometimes they are in packs and sometimes they are alone. They are intense. Focused. In the zone. The only zone I was in was the no parking zone of the parking lot. This I realized after unloading my car, reassembling the Burley, situating snacks, sippy cups, My Little Ponies, books, and the girls. I moved the car, strapped on my iPod and set the timer on my watch. Five miles, 70 minutes. Finally…I push out onto the bike path. People smiled and waved to the girls, who seemed oddly content. My iPod sent Dolly Parton coursing through my veins (the first song on my walking mix). I started to notice some of the regulars…The super-walker woman in her 50s (thin, tan) who always walks while reading a book…they guy on the recumbent bike that looks like the Speed Racer car…the man who pulls his big red dog in a bike trailer. Five miles, 70 minutes. At then…at mile 1.5… Don't touch me. Mom, she's squishing me! I dropped my cup (binkie, pony, book). I'm poopy. I want out. I want to walk. When are we going to be back at the car? I tried turning up my iPod so I couldn’t hear them. It didn’t work. Neither did positive reinforcement or the promise of candy at the end of the walk. Neither did threats of moving toys to the garage, timeouts, or telling on them to dad (don’t judge me for resorting to this periodically, please). It was awful. As I tried to ignore them, I found myself feeling more and more envious of my husband. Sure…he was up in the heat cleaning the boat...tired, sore, sweaty. But at least his exhaustion and near-heat stroke was occurring in a virtual solitude. At about mile 2.5 I really began to get more and more angry. Can they really keep doing this for anther 40 minutes? I started to think that I wasn’t going to make it. That I was actually going to start to cry. All I had wanted was my 5 miles, my 70 minutes. And then it happened (this is true). Two deer jumped out of the bushes, stopped, and stared right at us. I have never seen deer during that time of day and in that kind of heat. The girls were mesmerized. They were awestruck. They spent the next 10 minutes laughing, bantering back and forth, looking for more deer…and then… Don't touch me. Mom, she's squishing me! I dropped my cup (binkie, pony, book). I'm poopy. I want out. I want to walk. When are we going to be back at the car? I still had at least 20 minutes. This was crazy. I was crazy. I was going to be “the crazy lady on the bike path who screams at her kids”. And then… …(really, this is true)…a coyote walked right out in front of us. I stopped. The girls stopped. Never, ever have I seen coyote on the bike path. The girls didn’t know what to do. They were stunned. We made it back to the park (yes, I got my 5 miles, just not my 70 minutes) and waited for Paul to bring us our picnic lunch. I sat in the shade and watched the girls laugh and run around. I saw one of “them”. She was tan, fit, perfectly outfitted and rode towards us on her expensive-looking road bike towing a bike trailer behind her. As she approached I heard “Stop screaming. You are not being a good friend. Mommy is very, very angry.” I couldn’t help it. I laughed out loud.
All right...I'm going to take a quick break from my usual snarkiness and spend just a couple of lines expressing my extreme gratefulness.
Last night was the 5th night of Passover and, although we're not Jewish, we hosted a seder with some friends who are. I actually love Passover (and Jewish food). Its a great tradition and a wonderful way to mix food, family, and some thoughtful reflection about people who have suffered and offer some hopeful anticipation of a future better than the troubling past. Our seder couldn't have happened at a better time. Last December, my sister gave birth to twin girls at 30 weeks. Preemie twins is a scary enough situation, but her twins were an extremely rare form of twins called monoamniotic twins. This means they shared a placenta and an amniotic sack. To put it bluntly, these are the type of twins that could have been conjoined. They aren't conjoined, but they were extremely compromised at birth and have continued to have "typical preemie" issues (whatever that means). Both girls have been home from the hospital about 2 months and are thriving and doing well. Last Friday we found out that both girls had some problems with the growth of their brains. As it turned out, Evelyn (twin A) had water on the brain. Yesterday, after an MRI (a very scary experience with such a wee baby) we found out that even though it looks scary on the MRI, all is well. So, as I ate up my raw horseradish in remembrance of the "bitterness" of past suffering, I couldn't help but think about all the trials, stress, and suffering my sister and her family have had to endure since last August when she first got the diagnosis on the girls. Those little girls are fighters and their mom is amazing. Maztal tov! PS-My sister keeps a blog and it is far better written and more interesting than anything I could ever think about doing http://thirdfloorhome.blogs...
OK. Now that it is officially after midnight on a work night I think I should go to bed. No, I know I should go to bed.
I just saw a commercial for a cat toilet. Seriously. Its called the Cat Genie. Someone's million-dollar idea just made it onto the airwaves of deep cable and I was awake to witness it. Maybe at the end of the day, I am just jealous. Maybe I wish I could identify and advertise the perfect product to separate a niche market from its disposable income allowing me to quit my day job and have more spare time and more financial security than I ever imagined. Maybe I wish I could love a cat so much that I would want to offer her the very best that indoor plumbing has to offer. Jeez...what a trade show that would be...The 2008 Pet Hygiene Showcase. Hundreds of entrepreneurs under the florescent lights of a Holiday Inn ballroom in Vacaville, stale with the aroma of old cigarettes from the 80's (when smoking in public was still allowed). Trade show vendors...all of them peddling their wares to unsuspecting potential customers. Praying on their vulnerabilities and insecurities. Have I given Mittens my "all"? Does she feel loved and accepted for who she is? Have I provided opportunities for her to explore her own talents and find her own way in life? Can I really expect her to...crap outside? All of this ran through my mind in a split second as I stared, unbelievingly, at my TV screen. And then it hit me. Neurotic cat lovers aren't the only ones who could benefit from this. Oh no. The market is much wider than that. Just two nights ago my 21-month old peed in the training potty all by herself. You see where I am going with this, right?? I mean, "40,000 cat lovers can't be wrong". http://www.CatGenie.com
This family needs a break. And I don’t mean the breaking of car window safety glass that we got at 4 this morning. After almost five straight years of downsizing, maternity leaves, sewage pipe replacement, 80-feet-of-fence-repair (etc, etc) I have officially “had it”.
And you know what, it isn’t even always about the financial stress that comes with all of this. Finally, we’re on our feet financially. And by “on our feet” I mean we are actually ahead of the game thanks to a succession of pay increases for both of us. We actually have savings again and a little breathing room. We actually don’t have stress about the end of pay periods. Can I afford that latte on the 29th of the month? But, no, it isn’t the money worries that frustrated me about the fact that someone tried to steal my BRAND NEW Highlander early this morning. It isn’t even the safety issues—with almost six years in our neighborhood, we’ve never had a problem and neither have any of our neighbors. So, can chalk this one up to fact it just our turn in the barrel. Anyway, according to the sheriff, last night was a very busy crime night because of the full moon. Seriously. That’s what they told us. Nope…the thing that bugged me as I tossed and turned in bed from 4:45 to 7:30 is the LOGISTICS mess this is going to cause. Immediately, I started going over all of the stuff we were supposed to get done this weekend that certainly requires 2 cars and definitely didn’t take into account extra running around required for window replacement, insurance, rental car organization. I was thinking about this list: • 5 mile training walk (me) • Cleaning up sailboat to get it in the slip to avoid fees from marina (Paul) • Birthday party attendance (both girls) • Haircut (Ava) • Family bike ride (all of us) • R&R (mostly for Paul) • Grocery store (me) • Post office (me) And that was just the list for the weekend. Never mind the fact that Paul is traveling for work on Tuesday and first thing Monday morning I have a management team meeting. I’m beginning to figure out that the wiggle room that I longed for financially was only half the battle. I need some wiggle room with time. I need a savings account where I can withdraw extra hours and days. I don’t want to just keep putting time into an IRA to be drawn upon at age 59 ½. I mean, I get it. I know where the time gets sacrificed…it is the “me” time and “us” time that gets put aside and forgotten. And, I will certainly loose my mind if I have to listen to one more person tell me “you guys need to make time for you as a couple” or “you need to take care of yourself so you can take care of your family”. Don’t they know that we have to buy a new refrigerator this weekend? |
