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Full Moons and Safety Glass
Member Since: April 14, 2008 Last Signed In: November 15, 2009 Blog Views: 3929 Send To A Friend Sign Guestbook Add as a Friend
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Matricide in the Magic Kingdom
Next week my family is heading out on a family vacation to the big D…Disneyland. The girls are already bonkers and Paul and I are, well, resolved. We know the girls will have a great time, but we also know that the car trip, tired kids, sugar highs (and subsequent crashes), will take their toll. I think Paul summed up our shared trepidation best when he asked me the other night: “Do they sell booze at Disneyland?”
No, we aren’t alcoholics. No, we don’t want the Happiest Place on Earth spoiled by the drunkest people in Orange County. We just know that it will be a loooooong four days in the park. There will, however, be wine and a portable DVD player in the hotel room. Despite my curmudgeon-sounding sentiments, I am thrilled and delighted to be spearheading this effort. I have (of course) made all of the arrangements, purchased all of the tickets (including those for the Long Beach Aquarium for when we are sick of the big mouse), and have started packing. Paul and I have fielded literally hundreds of questions and have shown the girls clips of the “scarier” rides on YouTube to reduce the freak-out factor (I am sure this effort will prove futile as the Haunted Mansion doors open). I even took them to the nail salon for “vacation toenails” and arranged for lunch with the princesses. Yes, in spite of my efforts to breed tomboys, my two girls were bodysnatched by the Disney Marketing Machine while in utero and are currently in love with the Disney Princess franchise. Sigh. Yet all of my hard work and preparation is dripping with irony. Real irony, not the Alanis Morisette version. Why? Because as most moms know, Walt Disney apparently had an inner hatred of mothers. Virtually every mother in every Disney movie is mysteriously absent (emotionally or physically), dead, or ends up dead.
Oh sure, there are some exceptions mostly taking place in the animal kingdom. The Lion King got to keep his mom, but his dad suffered death by trampling. 101 Dalmations got two high functioning parents but the tradeoff was a crazed, serial killing, chain smoker who captured them and tried to skin them like Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs. OK, OK, I also know that Disney merely adapted many of these stories and he isn’t entirely to blame for the lack of motherly presence. Still, I find it ironic that I have worked hard to plan this vacation over M-O-T-H-E-R-S Day weekend (and the subsequent week). So, I ask you…what should I be more afraid of next week? The sugar highs or disappearing into the Disneyland Mother Abyss? 4 comments from 3 users
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posted by
patiencengrace
on May 6, 2009 at 11:59 AM
Good question about moms and Disney! Why did so many TV shows of the 60's also have missing mothers? Bonanza, Andy Griffith... Here's something that might come in handy. We discovered that the Haunted Mansion has an exit you can take after that first terrifying elevator ride, when our four year old started screaming bloody murder... posted by
creatress
on May 6, 2009 at 01:35 PM
AGH! I wrote a great reply and it vanished. I HATE it when that happens! California Adventure DOES have booze! Wine, beer and margaritas. Fill up a Mickey cup and no one will ever know. You're not driving anyway (just do it AFTER Mr. Toad's Wild Ride and the Mad Hatter's Teacups.) Just enjoy the Scooby break! I know you'll have a great time. posted by
kellimwheeler
on May 7, 2009 at 09:18 AM
Two interesting points you made that we were just discussing in an improptu mom coffee klatch. No booze in Disneyland (but Creatress is right - a whole new meaning to why you need to buy the Park Hopper pass to CA Adventureland) and why old Walt thought he always needed to off mom to get his point across. As usual, you summed it up in LOL style. p.s. Prepare to amazed at how quickly you will succumb to the magic of the Happiest Place on Earth. I'm eager to read your blog when you get back and you're still blowing sunshine out your a**... posted by
creatress
on May 7, 2009 at 01:52 PM
Maybe sunshine, but no money!The three of us need to get together soon and dazzle the masses with our wit. But could one simple locale contain us? Only if they have LOTS of wine.
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